Sunday, March 25, 2012

Fayette Urban County Knacker: A position paper

The re-legalization of horse slaughter houses within the United States presents a wonderful regional opportunity for public/private partnerships. Fayette Urban County should capitalize on its brand image as the horse capital of the world and create a new publicly elected office, the Fayette Urban County Knacker (FUCK), to manage the slaughter of the region’s horses. Not only will this provide local oversight in dealing with the very real problem of abandoned, sick, and/or dying horses (a potential brand killer), but if handled correctly, a knacker could also unlock an entirely untapped commercial market—the post-mortem market—with great potential to provide new revenue streams for a struggling equine industry.

With this in mind, Creatives for Common Sense calls upon the city and its leaders to create a position of Fayette Urban County Knacker. The ideal FUCK candidate should be proficient in, or willing to learn, a zesty variety of techniques, dispositions and orientations. These include skills related to:

**Product transference: Ability to slaughter, disembowel and segment horse into needed or desired cuts. Preference given to candidate demonstrating commitment to wise traditions and cutting edge emerging global trends regarding best practices in meat-slaughter, environmental, health code, etc. etc.

**Product development: Develop, test and create new saleable product forms. Such forms might include a Kentucky prosciutto, bratwursts, roasts, backstrap, hoofers, tongue. For inspiration, ideal candidate will have historical knowledge of bluegrass region and its culinary traditions, and of the many global histories (not to mention current trends) of horse meat consumption. Products should reflect renewed interest in funky, quirky and hip.

**Marketing: Be the FUC face of Equine Butchery. Promote horse slaughter as public service. This could be messaged specifically to the horse industry, for example through public presentations detailing the horse’s history as a commercially tradable object, or, more parochially, of the local knacker’s beneficial relationship to abandoned and abused horses in the state. Promotion could be scaled up to include the entire ag/food industry , with FUCK takes on industrial agricultural, CSA’s and CSK’s, vacant lot gardening, agriponicos, goat and milk cow economies, etc etc. Outreach opportunities might include: a float in the fourth of July parade, a Bullhorn Will video, children’s demonstrations at the farmer’s market, partnerships with schools and parks, national product placement (ie, Food Network/Iron Chef “horse meat” cook-off held at the newly constructed, public funded, Alltech Pavillion), and/or cooking show on KET. Ideal FUCK candidate will be charismatic, able to demonstrate an ability to lay it on hard for the cameras.

**Commercial Insertion: Establish clear slaughter-to-fork policy. Begin to create legal, ordinance, health, etc etc. infrastructure to create better knacker market conditions. Sell product to local businesses. Develop and distribute own unique FUCK brands (horse-burger, burgoo mix, breakfast sausage, dog-food) to sell to local venues as chic regional meat. We want FUCK to be our YUM.

Creatives for Common Sense proposes that the position be publicly elected, publicly funded, and come with a part-time aid and access to onsite house at knackery. In terms of allocated funds, we propose that the annual salaries of the knacker and aide not exceed a combined $60,000. In order to get the FUCK up and running, we also propose 1-time outlays of $150,000 for knacker lot and house purchase, and a figure not to exceed $200,000 in knacker-related supplies (knives, cleavers, clamps, sanitary infrastructure, etc. etc.).

Potential income growth areas in product sales, branding, media productions, festivals, etc. etc. should provide revenue streams that project enormous growth potential, with possibilities for the city to realize significant returns on the publicly elected investment.

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